The Downside of Ancestor and Spirit Communications


Many people ask, “How do I talk to spirits?” or “How do I communicate with the ancestors?”

In my opinion, the first and the most important thing you need to do is get stronger and more empowered within yourself so that the outer forces, energies, and spirits will interact with you in a positive and respectful way.

As I have stated on my BlogTalkRadio Show, LUMINOUS SPIRIT, you should not deal with the spirits until you can balance and control your mind and your emotions. At a bare minimum, you should have self control. You should know not to act reckless or harmful toward yourself or others. You should have a great sense of right and wrong. As I have said on numerous occasions, the spirits can see/sense our weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and faults. Therefore, “familiarity breeds contempt.” What does this mean? Since the spirits are very familiar with you and your faults they, sometimes, will not respect you to the level that they should if you go to them in a weakened or low vibrational state. This does not mean that they will not help you nor does this mean that you have to be perfect. Of course, we all have our shortcomings and character flaws, however; there is a way to approach the spirits with confidence and faith.

If you think about it, we do the same thing on the human/physical level. We, sometimes, will not respect, listen to, or hold our family and friends to a certain level because we are familiar with their faults and shortcomings. We know too much about them. We love them but we may not hold them to a high standard. We tend to feel like and will say to ourselves, “who are they to say anything to me when they themselves don’t do what they are supposed to do?” So, familiarity breeds contempt” and because of this, we must be careful when speaking with and calling the spirits toward us.  We must also be careful when calling ancestors whose characters and behaviors are unknown to us.

When approaching the spirits or ancestors we must deal with them from an empowered, mature, clear, and strong position. We must know what we want. If we do not know what we want, how would they know how to help us? As well, we should not go to them confused as this could attract other spirits which can stir in more confusion, just for kicks.  Our heads should always to clear and senses sharp.  For the same reasons we should not drink and drive because alcohol or drugs can impair our senses, confusion impairs you and makes you vulnerable to negative spirit/ancestral influence. Therefore, you do not want to communicate with the spirits mentally or emotionally unstable. Again, if we are confused about what we want or what direction to go in or who we want to be with or what are needs are, then it makes it difficult for the ancestors and spirit guides to know how to help us. When dealing with your ancestors or spirit guides, you need to be clear, concise, and sure. Even if problems or drama is happening in your life, it is beneficial to go to them as if you are a problem solver. You should go to them with resolve and with the mission and tenacity for attacking your problem head on. Be direct in what your needs are and have goals that they can help you toward. Important, you can make a list of your wants and needs, and tackle them one at a time. If some of your desires are similar you can group them together, but be clear.

DO NOT leave it up to your ancestors or the spirits to do whatever they want for you, this is a grave mistake. You have to remember that they have personalities and characteristics just like us. Each spirit will have their own agendas, ways of doing things, and ideologies that may or may not be helpful or supportive to you. Sometimes, the ancestors and guides may have an idea of what is best for you when in actuality their idea can hold you back.

For instance, say you are asking for money because you are struggling. Now suppose your ancestors have the idea that money is bad, causes all kinds of problems, and is the root of all evil. This ancestor or group of ancestors could, potentially, block your prosperity, feeling that they are protecting you and keeping you out of harms way. They may feel that they are doing you a favor by keeping money out of your path for fear that someone may take your money, you may lose your money or you may be robbed or caused harm in some way; this is a typical way of thinking. Some ancestors will criticize, judge, hinder/block or bless you depending on their successes or failures. Many ancestors will bring their experiences into your life, however, just because something happened to them doesn’t mean it will happen to you. We do the same thing in the living. Just think about how overprotective you get over your children or family sometimes based on your experiences and fears – based on your successes or failures? Just think about how, sometimes, you have an idea about how something should go for your child or a family member – you interfere – only to find out later that your idea or interference wasn’t the best approach. Well, the ancestors are no different – they can be overprotective to a fault sometimes. Now on the flip side, if your ancestors know that you are irresponsible with money, they may block your money all because they know that you will blow it, any way. They may also block your money or your other desires if they feel that you will get distracted and fall of your path. However, this should not be their call, although, they hold lots of power in our lives. On the downside, an ancestor or group of ancestors may not want you to get ahead out of shear misery – they never had any money nor should you.  Dealing with the ancestors can be tricky, sometimes.

Why would the ancestors think this way?  Usually, when a person dies they die with the beliefs that they lived with while on Earth.  If a person believed in the living that there are white pearly gates when you go to heaven – then they will have the same belief on the other side.  If a person believed that money was bad in the living then they will have the same belief in death.

Now, think about the hundreds and thousands of ancestors whose DNA lives in your blood. Just imagine a lot of these ancestors with their own opinions, feelings, and ideas about how your life should go. It is important that you have your own ideas and plans about how your life should go and take a strong stand to create and manifest that which you desire. Making it clear to your ancestors that they are there to help you and guide you to be progressive and successful but this starts with your own attitude. You will want to make sure that you are on path with your destiny, allowing your soul/Ori to express itself. You will appeal to the ancestors to help you achieve your goals without any negative interference or hindrance on their part. This is important to remember.

When approaching the spirit realm you want them to know what your end goal is. You want them to know that you are serious and those ancestors that choose to help you will be rewarded as you are rewarded in the physical plane.

For instance, if you are looking for a job, you can explain to them that you need a job but you also need help from them in acquiring opportunities for obtaining a job. You also need to let your spirits know that you have a plan to network, look in newspapers, online, etc. You will ask them to remove any and all blockages or interferences in the way of you getting what you need. This is all provided that you are doing your part 100% in the human physical realm. If the spirits see that you are procrastinating, some timey, and half doing your job to look for employment they may only help you a little bit or not at all. If everything pans out, you can give them a thank you offering for their help.

The reason you need to take a strong stand with your spirits and ancestors is that you don’t want them to get the idea that they can boss you around. Many people, spiritualists, priests and priestesses have been taught the wrong way to communicate with their spirit guides and as a consequence the spirits are running the life of that person and it is not supposed to be that way.

Many do not realize that sometimes the ancestors are jealous and envious of the fact that we are still living and because of this they can act funny toward us. Just because we may do ancestor reverence in many forms – it doesn’t mean all our ancestors are nice to us. There are many people that are spiritual, religious, scholarly, priests and priestesses of a high order that feel and have said, “STOP!, calling the ancestors to you!” They say, “you should not call upon your ancestors or any spirit until you are absolutely in an empowered place of being and then and only then are you able to help the ancestors elevate to a point where they are beneficial to you and the family line.” They understand that when you call your ancestors toward you unprepared, you are inviting more trouble into your life. The downside is that the ancestors will come with all of their problems (mental, emotional, financial, and/or physical) exacerbating yours and they can complicate matters.

On the same token, many people hold on very tight to deceased loved ones. When you are very close to someone that dies it is extremely hard to let go. The downside is that when you don’t let go, the deceased cannot elevate. They cannot go on to do what they need to do for the evolution of their soul or yours in some instances. So for those of you holding on to your loved ones, you must TRY hard to let go. Letting go allows them to move forward and come back to visit you at a later time.  Another point to the downside is stated in the above paragraph, they can complicate things for you when you hold on to them. They need their freedom. Even though you may be holding on out of love, that love chains them causing both the living and the dead continued suffering. This is NOT good.

By now, some of you may be thinking, “what’s the positive to ancestor reverence?”  Well, asking this question would mean that you haven’t read my other articles or my book and you should do so.  There are two sides to every coin.  We live in a dualistic reality and therefore we live both polarities – positive and negative.  So of course, there is a positive and beneficial side to ancestral worship which many people from various cultures speak about all the time but this article is to speak about the other side that we don’t hear much about.

For those of us who follow nature-based spirituality and honor the ancestors through worship and reverence, understand that we do not do this to imprison the ancestors or have them to work for us. We revere them so that they can help us. It is a partnership. Helping us, helps them to elevate but it also lightens the load and helps to clear karma for the entire blood line. To those unfamiliar, there are rituals and ceremonies done by specialized Elders that can align the ancestors with the living so that they are helpful and not hurtful to the family line. It is known and common practice that it is essential to spiritually heal the ancestors before extensive communication takes place.

What should you know if you decide to communicate with the spirits and ancestors?

You should know that it is the living person who is supposed to be in charge and in command when communicating with spirit, however; many people do not know this. You, the living person, are in control, although, you may need the help of the ancestors. As commander in chief – you must act like it. When the spirits see you taking control of your life and handling your business to make things happen they will follow your example. It will require you to be firm and confident like I said.

In most cases, it will require you to address karmic issues that may be plaguing your life.

The other thing that you want to do is call on the highest Power possible. This can be the Creator, God. This can be the Orisa, your Ori/Higher Self, this can be other high vibrational ancestors, deities, divinities, or forces that have power over the dead – keeping them in line and in check. Of course, this is all done in a respectful manner. You don’t want the ancestors or guides to stick it to you out of spite. You will notice in my prayers that I pay homage and make mention of the Holy Ancestors, Heavenly Ancestors, Mighty Ancestors or Omnipotent Ancestors because I only want ancestors of wisdom, strength, power, courage, prosperity, abundance, and confidence to come forward. You want to work with the ancestors that are the “shakers and movers.” You want to work with ancestors that know how build and create; the ones that understand currency and trade. They can make things happen. They play no games.

The lower vibrational ancestors and spirits will bring problems and issues from the other side into your life. My spirits are teaching me that it is not always wise to call every ancestor unless there is a higher power to keep them in check and keep them from negatively impacting your life. In the living, we say, “misery loves company.” There are ancestors or spirits that love misery and will be attracted to family members that they can make miserable. There are ancestors who can try to bring you down. However, as we become more empowered we can gain more control over this. I don’t want to be mean but you may have loved your mother or your father, your brother or sister, or some other kin but it doesn’t mean that they should be around you in a weakened state nor should they be around you to add more issues. If your loved one was a control freak in life, most likely they would be trying to control you from the realm of the dead. And if you are hearing un-supportive voices in your head, dismiss them immediately – you have the power. As I said before, be strong – spiritually, mentally, or emotionally. This way, you can lessen the impact of psychic (spiritual) influence coming from the low vibrations of a negative or un-supportive ancestor.

Another point I would like to raise is that the memories of all our ancestors live within us. These are the good memories as well as the bad memories. These memories affect our genes from birth. It is scientifically proven that we suffer from those that walked before us. This is known as suffering from the sins of our forefathers. Many of the problems that we have in our lives are genetic and a direct result of how our ancestors once lived in the past, for good or bad. For instance, not only can we be predisposed to health issues that run in our genes, from family members dead or alive, but we can also inherit emotional problems, negative behaviors, and poor character traits.

For instance, we all know that glaucoma (eye problems) can be genetic but so can procrastination, lack of motivation, or poverty. Fear of success can be a genetic flaw as well. There are millions of examples.

Maybe you had an ancestor that was a liar, a cheat, a manipulator, a thief, or abuser. These are traits that can be passed on to the living. Some people feel stuck and in a rut and don’t know why. They may be legitimately trying their best but no matter what, things seem to fall short. This could be the result of bad genes.

Now, you as the living person can alter this by not allowing these energies to run your life. You must find ways to counteract and override the negative memories or programming that you are struggling with in your genes. In a lot of cases this will not be easy.

For instance, say genetically you have poor parenting skills, you can counteract this by learning how to better communicate instead of being abusive. You can learn better coping skills, and maybe psychology to understand why people do the things that they do.

Maybe poverty or money problems are genetic issues for you – you can counteract this by learning the meaning of money, what it means to have money, how to manage it, and adopting positive ways of thinking about money.

Relationship problems are common and can be a big problem genetically. There have been examples where all the women in a family line have man problems. This can be the result of bad memories in the genes coming from an ancestor who felt that the women in the family can do without a man. This ancestor could have been hurt or traumatize by a man and therefore feels the need to protect the women in the family line. Even worse, this ancestor didn’t have a man or happiness and feels that no one else deserves to be happy. Maybe a male ancestor felt guilty that he could not protect someone when he was alive and now this ancestor feels that the only way to protect the women is by keeping men away – a sort of cock blocking. There are hundreds of examples that I can give.

I want you to know that ancestral trauma is very real and many of us suffer from this energy coming from our genes everyday in some kind of way. There are many ways to counteract the pitfalls. The simplest way is to decide to break the negative patterns plaguing your life or your family. This works well for many people. Teach your children to break the patterns as well. For they have the same genes that you do. Other ways are to eat better, think positive, keep your vibration high, high, high, learn to control your emotions and re-educate yourself about health and money for example. Whatever you don’t know – teach yourself and learn.

A lot was said and I have given you much to think about. On a positive note: we have many supportive, nurturing, beautiful, uplifting, and wise ancestors that can help guide our steps and protect us well. These are the ancestors that you want to be around you.

Tags: , , , , , ,

25 Responses to “The Downside of Ancestor and Spirit Communications”

  1. Anna February 19, 2015 at 5:07 pm #

    Excellent analogy and I’ve experienced it all.

  2. nobom September 20, 2015 at 5:10 am #

    I have a problem with my ancestors they blocked everything in my life, please can you tell me what to do?

    • Aladokun Iya Tanya January 22, 2016 at 5:59 pm #

      It is important to begin a daily spiritual discipline of praying and talking with your ancestors. You must investigate the spiritual problems plaguing you. Many of your ancestors may need elevating. You must begin a relationship with them so that they can help you instead of harm you. They could be blocking you to get your attention. In this way, they are kind of forcing you to attend to their needs.

  3. Mya December 21, 2015 at 7:51 pm #

    Hi I did a spritiual salt bath for three days but it still having problems with money when I work it take hard for ppl to pay me my money and when I do get the money in my hand it disappeared the very same day and I remained broke help please

    • Aladokun Iya Tanya January 22, 2016 at 5:49 pm #

      Unfortunately, it will take more than 3 baths to change your money issues. Money is a tricky subject because money is an energy that requires a lot of attention. In order to attract money on a consistent basis, you will need to learn about money and what it is. You must have positive core beliefs about money. You have to watch your negative emotions, thoughts and words when talking about money. Your money issues can be ancestral blockages, too. You can have blockages and interference coming from the people and environment around you. If you want to attract money you will need to do weekly cleansing baths to remove any negative or evil vibes on you and then you will need to take attraction/good luck baths to bring money opportunities to you. I would recommend first spiritually cleansing your home weekly, take weekly baths, and then do money rituals daily and weekly to help you to build a healthy relationship and vibration for attracting money. This is a huge subject that is worth taking your time to investigate and work with.

      • Angie June 23, 2016 at 6:02 am #

        my fiance and I got swindled some amount of money meant to buy a car. we sought spiritual help and we were told that the ancestral spirits have helped us and got everything from the swindlers. we were told to borrow money and put in our house to attract lucky then we can go collect our money from the traditional healer. we told him that all we wanted was our money that was lost not the 7 billion they want to give us but they refused.

        • Aladokun1 June 23, 2016 at 11:43 am #

          Alaafia, you will need to clarify your story as I’m a bit confused. You said that you were told that the ancestor spirits did help and they did get everything back from the swindlers, correct? If you got everything back then what are you asking? I don’t understand the part about borrowing money to put in your house or the part about collecting money from a traditional healer. Please clarify…

          My other question – if the money was for a car why did you use it?

  4. Carol February 3, 2016 at 2:43 pm #

    how do I do money rituals

  5. benard June 15, 2016 at 7:16 am #

    hi i need a spirit that will bring me money en wealth

  6. Koi July 11, 2016 at 12:40 am #

    I am soo glad that I was led to your article. I’ve been on a crazy journey the last couple years, definitely facing all my fears….things I never thought would happen to me, did. I’ve been on my spiritual journey for about 2 years now, but taking baby steps as I’m learning as I go. Lately I’ve been getting soooooo many physical signs for me to get into energy healing. I feel so connected and drawn to the Native American culture and now have in my mind that I want to be a Shaman. I’ve been practicing on clients for a few months now and it’s actually working for them and myself. It makes me feel good when I can feel their energy become just as bright and green as I want it, its like they also release emotional blockages. Since I’m learning through experience and some vids through YouTube, I realize that it drains me immensely afterwards. I just found out that I’m an empath as well (which explains why I never wanted to kill bugs, i thought my vast collection of stuffed animals had feelings, I’m a Pisces/Wolf (which explains why I always had many dogs at once lol with my matching pawprint tattoo).
    Growing up in Catholic schooling but going to Baptist churches on the weekend left me feeling disconnected although I was ALWAYS present mentally and spiritually.
    About 4 years ago, I went to get my bf and mine cards read. The woman said that there was a hex placed on a great great great grandmother of mine that would affect all first born women in my family. It sounded about right to me because the issues with men from my grandmother, to mother and now myself is evident.
    Since then my first best friend @AyodeleFuega has read my cards and they all seem to present a strong, ancestral moon goddess spirit etc.
    I thought that getting to know my ancestors by doing a ritual will help me since it feels like they’re with me, but I’m also unsure since I’m not used to calling upon spirits especially alone and uneducated. I don’t know if I’m asking a question or not but I just started typing away!

    • Aladokun1 August 2, 2016 at 6:34 pm #

      Yes, I understand what you’re trying to ask. You are looking for firm guidance and it is necessary. Dealing with the spirit world is tricky and you should have the correct foundation before you attempt calling on spirits. As I wrote to Kayla, you may want to take my class on mediumship and psychic development. Check out the links and see if something that resonates with you. Go to: and

  7. Kayla July 11, 2016 at 10:07 pm #

    I am on a spiritual journey and am recently learning about the impact our ancestors have on us. But honestly I am still very confused about the whole thing. How do I form a relationship with them , how do I begin speaking with them?

    • Aladokun1 August 2, 2016 at 6:29 pm #

      Yes, dealing with the spirit world is very confusing. What may help you is reading my book at There’s no simple way to explain communicating with the ancestors or spirit world because it is a bit tricky. It may also help you to take my class on Mediumship. In the class we get into all the basic aspects and step by steps of dealing with the self and then the spirit world. Check out the links and some of the videos here:

      If you want to apprentice then that’s a separate conversation.

  8. George wakabi August 9, 2016 at 8:31 pm #

    Wonderful, and encouraging! I have been looking for this kind of article for 3years, but all in vein, now I’ve found it from you. Long live! I feel I should hear from you via my e-mail, thanks alot.

  9. lassa August 22, 2016 at 9:28 pm #

    Hey I have been doing spiritual work for three months it’s OK the spirits are there I know that but I can’t communicate with them I can do any spell and it works perfect but I have no communication like seeing hearing etc help please

    • Aladokun1 August 25, 2016 at 2:23 pm #

      Alaafia Lassa: It takes meditation and development to see and hear spirits. And in most cases, will take a lot of effort to make this happen. Seeing is in the mind’s eye and hearing is the inner ear. Every individual is different and grow at varying rates. Some people can see and hear spirits fairly quickly while it takes other people longer. Consistency, focus, and concentration are the keys. If you are not grounded or the type of person that cannot sit still for long periods of time it will be hard for you to hear and see. You must practice daily but you have to be relaxed when trying. Centering and grounding are necessary. There are other ways to communicate with spirits like using cards or divination as well. Sometimes using these types of tools can help trigger the seeing and hearing. Hope this helps.

  10. kelechi September 27, 2016 at 10:34 am #

    Pls how can i invite the good spirits each time i want to communicate with them and again,is it good to build an altar for them?

    • Aladokun1 September 27, 2016 at 2:24 pm #

      It would be helpful to you if you read my book, “Ancestor Paths” as it will give you much detail about your question. An altar is only a focal point, a gathering place for you and spirit – this becomes a sacred space. My book gets into the details of this.

  11. kings October 8, 2016 at 10:34 am #

    I am grateful that I am one of those who found this great book. I will live to say thanks. I am a preacher and I have be on a spiritual jounrney searching for divine knowledge. I’ve read all kinds of spiritual books yet nothing is working. I have no money to pay my bills. I need this spiritual knowledge to be vast in all things of spirit. how do I go about it?

    • Aladokun1 October 8, 2016 at 11:58 am #

      One way to learn more is to take my upcoming class on Mediumship. The title is a bit deceiving so check out my information page and see if it resonates with you. Check out the link: Mediumship Study

  12. Hurtquartz October 21, 2016 at 3:52 am #

    What if you are searching for paternal ancestry clues with no clues, all due to adoption? Will those ancestors even know you are kin and be around you to help guide you?

    • Aladokun1 October 21, 2016 at 12:10 pm #

      Great question. There are many people who wonder the same thing. The beautiful thing is that your ancestors are in your blood so they are wherever you are. You may not know their names or who they may be but they know YOU! So in praying and asking for help – you can say something like, “I call those who walked before me” or “I call upon those ancestors who dwell in my blood to help me” or “I call upon those ancestors whose names I do not know”. You can say, “I only want help from those ancestors who are a benefit to me – who want to help me”. The ancestors are responsible to you as you are to them. For whatever reason, your soul chose to come to Earth to have this experience so even in adoption, the ancestors know your story. Hope this helps.

  13. Michelle October 29, 2016 at 11:03 pm #

    I can’t get a good nights rest. I called onto my ancestors without research and my dreams are showing me things and taking me places I’ve never seen. I’m hearing languages I don’t understand. I’ve always had a great relationship with the spiritual world but as of lately after actually contacting my ancestors things have changed. I need a one on one with someone who’s familiar with what I’m experiencing. I’m starting to feel depressed because I can’t sleep without a thousand flashes of images or other dreams that weren’t my “norm” I need help. Perhaps I did something that wasn’t supposed to be. However, I still thank my ancestors and my GOD for all I’m experiencing. If anyone can help me figure this out my email is gmail. Mrs.davis.familync thank you.

    • Aladokun1 October 31, 2016 at 12:30 pm #

      Alaafia: you made a good point… you called upon your ancestors without researching how one should call upon them. The good news is that in most cases you can dismiss them very easily. In kind of the same way you called them, is the same way you can dismiss them. You can tell them or rather say in a firm voice, that you called upon them for their help and not for them to torment you. The problem is that many un-elevated and low vibrational ancestors are not in a position to help. Many of our ancestors don’t know any better. You are feeling depressed because one of your ancestors are feeling sad and depressed and they are impressing their feelings on to you; wanting you to know that they are there. This ancestor needs elevating, direction, guidance, prayers and light. Unfortunately because we are disconnected from the ancient ways of proper burial rites, our ancestors do not know how to care for themselves in the spirit realm. They do not know how to find their way home – the place where their soul came from. You can help yourself in this situation by saying, my Ancestral Healing Prayer in my book, “Ancestor Paths” every new moon. I will also update this posting with additional information at a later date.

Leave a Reply