Archive | September, 2013

The Downside of Ancestor and Spirit Communications


Many people ask, “How do I talk to spirits?” or “How do I communicate with the ancestors?”

In my opinion, the first and the most important thing you need to do is get stronger and more empowered within yourself so that the outer forces, energies, and spirits will interact with you in a positive and respectful way.

As I have stated on my BlogTalkRadio Show, LUMINOUS SPIRIT, you should not deal with the spirits until you can balance and control your mind and your emotions. At a bare minimum, you should have self control. You should know not to act reckless or harmful toward yourself or others. You should have a great sense of right and wrong. As I have said on numerous occasions, the spirits can see/sense our weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and faults. Therefore, “familiarity breeds contempt.” What does this mean? Since the spirits are very familiar with you and your faults they, sometimes, will not respect you to the level that they should if you go to them in a weakened or low vibrational state. This does not mean that they will not help you nor does this mean that you have to be perfect. Of course, we all have our shortcomings and character flaws, however; there is a way to approach the spirits with confidence and faith.

If you think about it, we do the same thing on the human/physical level. We, sometimes, will not respect, listen to, or hold our family and friends to a certain level because we are familiar with their faults and shortcomings. We know too much about them. We love them but we may not hold them to a high standard. We tend to feel like and will say to ourselves, “who are they to say anything to me when they themselves don’t do what they are supposed to do?” So, familiarity breeds contempt” and because of this, we must be careful when speaking with and calling the spirits toward us.  We must also be careful when calling ancestors whose characters and behaviors are unknown to us.

When approaching the spirits or ancestors we must deal with them from an empowered, mature, clear, and strong position. We must know what we want. If we do not know what we want, how would they know how to help us? As well, we should not go to them confused as this could attract other spirits which can stir in more confusion, just for kicks.  Our heads should always to clear and senses sharp.  For the same reasons we should not drink and drive because alcohol or drugs can impair our senses, confusion impairs you and makes you vulnerable to negative spirit/ancestral influence. Therefore, you do not want to communicate with the spirits mentally or emotionally unstable. Again, if we are confused about what we want or what direction to go in or who we want to be with or what are needs are, then it makes it difficult for the ancestors and spirit guides to know how to help us. When dealing with your ancestors or spirit guides, you need to be clear, concise, and sure. Even if problems or drama is happening in your life, it is beneficial to go to them as if you are a problem solver. You should go to them with resolve and with the mission and tenacity for attacking your problem head on. Be direct in what your needs are and have goals that they can help you toward. Important, you can make a list of your wants and needs, and tackle them one at a time. If some of your desires are similar you can group them together, but be clear.

DO NOT leave it up to your ancestors or the spirits to do whatever they want for you, this is a grave mistake. You have to remember that they have personalities and characteristics just like us. Each spirit will have their own agendas, ways of doing things, and ideologies that may or may not be helpful or supportive to you. Sometimes, the ancestors and guides may have an idea of what is best for you when in actuality their idea can hold you back.

For instance, say you are asking for money because you are struggling. Now suppose your ancestors have the idea that money is bad, causes all kinds of problems, and is the root of all evil. This ancestor or group of ancestors could, potentially, block your prosperity, feeling that they are protecting you and keeping you out of harms way. They may feel that they are doing you a favor by keeping money out of your path for fear that someone may take your money, you may lose your money or you may be robbed or caused harm in some way; this is a typical way of thinking. Some ancestors will criticize, judge, hinder/block or bless you depending on their successes or failures. Many ancestors will bring their experiences into your life, however, just because something happened to them doesn’t mean it will happen to you. We do the same thing in the living. Just think about how overprotective you get over your children or family sometimes based on your experiences and fears – based on your successes or failures? Just think about how, sometimes, you have an idea about how something should go for your child or a family member – you interfere – only to find out later that your idea or interference wasn’t the best approach. Well, the ancestors are no different – they can be overprotective to a fault sometimes. Now on the flip side, if your ancestors know that you are irresponsible with money, they may block your money all because they know that you will blow it, any way. They may also block your money or your other desires if they feel that you will get distracted and fall of your path. However, this should not be their call, although, they hold lots of power in our lives. On the downside, an ancestor or group of ancestors may not want you to get ahead out of shear misery – they never had any money nor should you.  Dealing with the ancestors can be tricky, sometimes.

Why would the ancestors think this way?  Usually, when a person dies they die with the beliefs that they lived with while on Earth.  If a person believed in the living that there are white pearly gates when you go to heaven – then they will have the same belief on the other side.  If a person believed that money was bad in the living then they will have the same belief in death.

Now, think about the hundreds and thousands of ancestors whose DNA lives in your blood. Just imagine a lot of these ancestors with their own opinions, feelings, and ideas about how your life should go. It is important that you have your own ideas and plans about how your life should go and take a strong stand to create and manifest that which you desire. Making it clear to your ancestors that they are there to help you and guide you to be progressive and successful but this starts with your own attitude. You will want to make sure that you are on path with your destiny, allowing your soul/Ori to express itself. You will appeal to the ancestors to help you achieve your goals without any negative interference or hindrance on their part. This is important to remember.

When approaching the spirit realm you want them to know what your end goal is. You want them to know that you are serious and those ancestors that choose to help you will be rewarded as you are rewarded in the physical plane.

For instance, if you are looking for a job, you can explain to them that you need a job but you also need help from them in acquiring opportunities for obtaining a job. You also need to let your spirits know that you have a plan to network, look in newspapers, online, etc. You will ask them to remove any and all blockages or interferences in the way of you getting what you need. This is all provided that you are doing your part 100% in the human physical realm. If the spirits see that you are procrastinating, some timey, and half doing your job to look for employment they may only help you a little bit or not at all. If everything pans out, you can give them a thank you offering for their help.

The reason you need to take a strong stand with your spirits and ancestors is that you don’t want them to get the idea that they can boss you around. Many people, spiritualists, priests and priestesses have been taught the wrong way to communicate with their spirit guides and as a consequence the spirits are running the life of that person and it is not supposed to be that way.

Many do not realize that sometimes the ancestors are jealous and envious of the fact that we are still living and because of this they can act funny toward us. Just because we may do ancestor reverence in many forms – it doesn’t mean all our ancestors are nice to us. There are many people that are spiritual, religious, scholarly, priests and priestesses of a high order that feel and have said, “STOP!, calling the ancestors to you!” They say, “you should not call upon your ancestors or any spirit until you are absolutely in an empowered place of being and then and only then are you able to help the ancestors elevate to a point where they are beneficial to you and the family line.” They understand that when you call your ancestors toward you unprepared, you are inviting more trouble into your life. The downside is that the ancestors will come with all of their problems (mental, emotional, financial, and/or physical) exacerbating yours and they can complicate matters.

On the same token, many people hold on very tight to deceased loved ones. When you are very close to someone that dies it is extremely hard to let go. The downside is that when you don’t let go, the deceased cannot elevate. They cannot go on to do what they need to do for the evolution of their soul or yours in some instances. So for those of you holding on to your loved ones, you must TRY hard to let go. Letting go allows them to move forward and come back to visit you at a later time.  Another point to the downside is stated in the above paragraph, they can complicate things for you when you hold on to them. They need their freedom. Even though you may be holding on out of love, that love chains them causing both the living and the dead continued suffering. This is NOT good.

By now, some of you may be thinking, “what’s the positive to ancestor reverence?”  Well, asking this question would mean that you haven’t read my other articles or my book and you should do so.  There are two sides to every coin.  We live in a dualistic reality and therefore we live both polarities – positive and negative.  So of course, there is a positive and beneficial side to ancestral worship which many people from various cultures speak about all the time but this article is to speak about the other side that we don’t hear much about.

For those of us who follow nature-based spirituality and honor the ancestors through worship and reverence, understand that we do not do this to imprison the ancestors or have them to work for us. We revere them so that they can help us. It is a partnership. Helping us, helps them to elevate but it also lightens the load and helps to clear karma for the entire blood line. To those unfamiliar, there are rituals and ceremonies done by specialized Elders that can align the ancestors with the living so that they are helpful and not hurtful to the family line. It is known and common practice that it is essential to spiritually heal the ancestors before extensive communication takes place.

What should you know if you decide to communicate with the spirits and ancestors?

You should know that it is the living person who is supposed to be in charge and in command when communicating with spirit, however; many people do not know this. You, the living person, are in control, although, you may need the help of the ancestors. As commander in chief – you must act like it. When the spirits see you taking control of your life and handling your business to make things happen they will follow your example. It will require you to be firm and confident like I said.

In most cases, it will require you to address karmic issues that may be plaguing your life.

The other thing that you want to do is call on the highest Power possible. This can be the Creator, God. This can be the Orisa, your Ori/Higher Self, this can be other high vibrational ancestors, deities, divinities, or forces that have power over the dead – keeping them in line and in check. Of course, this is all done in a respectful manner. You don’t want the ancestors or guides to stick it to you out of spite. You will notice in my prayers that I pay homage and make mention of the Holy Ancestors, Heavenly Ancestors, Mighty Ancestors or Omnipotent Ancestors because I only want ancestors of wisdom, strength, power, courage, prosperity, abundance, and confidence to come forward. You want to work with the ancestors that are the “shakers and movers.” You want to work with ancestors that know how build and create; the ones that understand currency and trade. They can make things happen. They play no games.

The lower vibrational ancestors and spirits will bring problems and issues from the other side into your life. My spirits are teaching me that it is not always wise to call every ancestor unless there is a higher power to keep them in check and keep them from negatively impacting your life. In the living, we say, “misery loves company.” There are ancestors or spirits that love misery and will be attracted to family members that they can make miserable. There are ancestors who can try to bring you down. However, as we become more empowered we can gain more control over this. I don’t want to be mean but you may have loved your mother or your father, your brother or sister, or some other kin but it doesn’t mean that they should be around you in a weakened state nor should they be around you to add more issues. If your loved one was a control freak in life, most likely they would be trying to control you from the realm of the dead. And if you are hearing un-supportive voices in your head, dismiss them immediately – you have the power. As I said before, be strong – spiritually, mentally, or emotionally. This way, you can lessen the impact of psychic (spiritual) influence coming from the low vibrations of a negative or un-supportive ancestor.

Another point I would like to raise is that the memories of all our ancestors live within us. These are the good memories as well as the bad memories. These memories affect our genes from birth. It is scientifically proven that we suffer from those that walked before us. This is known as suffering from the sins of our forefathers. Many of the problems that we have in our lives are genetic and a direct result of how our ancestors once lived in the past, for good or bad. For instance, not only can we be predisposed to health issues that run in our genes, from family members dead or alive, but we can also inherit emotional problems, negative behaviors, and poor character traits.

For instance, we all know that glaucoma (eye problems) can be genetic but so can procrastination, lack of motivation, or poverty. Fear of success can be a genetic flaw as well. There are millions of examples.

Maybe you had an ancestor that was a liar, a cheat, a manipulator, a thief, or abuser. These are traits that can be passed on to the living. Some people feel stuck and in a rut and don’t know why. They may be legitimately trying their best but no matter what, things seem to fall short. This could be the result of bad genes.

Now, you as the living person can alter this by not allowing these energies to run your life. You must find ways to counteract and override the negative memories or programming that you are struggling with in your genes. In a lot of cases this will not be easy.

For instance, say genetically you have poor parenting skills, you can counteract this by learning how to better communicate instead of being abusive. You can learn better coping skills, and maybe psychology to understand why people do the things that they do.

Maybe poverty or money problems are genetic issues for you – you can counteract this by learning the meaning of money, what it means to have money, how to manage it, and adopting positive ways of thinking about money.

Relationship problems are common and can be a big problem genetically. There have been examples where all the women in a family line have man problems. This can be the result of bad memories in the genes coming from an ancestor who felt that the women in the family can do without a man. This ancestor could have been hurt or traumatize by a man and therefore feels the need to protect the women in the family line. Even worse, this ancestor didn’t have a man or happiness and feels that no one else deserves to be happy. Maybe a male ancestor felt guilty that he could not protect someone when he was alive and now this ancestor feels that the only way to protect the women is by keeping men away – a sort of cock blocking. There are hundreds of examples that I can give.

I want you to know that ancestral trauma is very real and many of us suffer from this energy coming from our genes everyday in some kind of way. There are many ways to counteract the pitfalls. The simplest way is to decide to break the negative patterns plaguing your life or your family. This works well for many people. Teach your children to break the patterns as well. For they have the same genes that you do. Other ways are to eat better, think positive, keep your vibration high, high, high, learn to control your emotions and re-educate yourself about health and money for example. Whatever you don’t know – teach yourself and learn.

A lot was said and I have given you much to think about. On a positive note: we have many supportive, nurturing, beautiful, uplifting, and wise ancestors that can help guide our steps and protect us well. These are the ancestors that you want to be around you.

The Powerful Color of the Black Candle

What is the truth about the candle color and meaning of Black?

It is so weird how we accept definitions to words given to us without any question.  Where did our natural ability to question go?  What happened to the inner perceptions of what things truly mean?  Let’s take the color black for instance.  The color black is void of all color.  It absorbs light and it is a color that belongs to the vibration of Earth – the deepest recesses.  It is a color that can absorb all energies both positive and negative.  In many native american tribes the color black stands for stability, firmness, and symbol of victory.  In other places black is perceived as confidence, power, and strength.

Black the darkness, the greatest mystery – the unknown.  Too bad we cannot see the hidden workings; darkness is where germination begins.  Darkness – the blackness is how light emerges.  You were born in a state of darkness – the blackness of the womb.  How can this be bad?  Things are created in the dark.  The darkness is where we go to find the truth – the answers that are not available in the light.  Hiding in the dark is where you have your greatest advantage – the security of the dark brings comfort.  You emerge from the darkness into the light when it is safe to do so.  Black is the subconscious.  When you want to know what lies in the deepest recesses of the mind or spirit, remember that black is the color that can take you there.  To see what is hidden, let black take you in.  If you want to protect yourself, let black provide the perfect cover.  It is true that bad things hide in the dark but there are multitudes a great and good things that also live in blackness waiting to be discovered.

Black by nature absorbs.  With this quality you can let go of all you want to get rid of.  In the darkness, you strengthen all your other senses.  If you take the light away – you are forced to trust yourself.  Use black for ultimate stability and self control.  It is extremely grounding.  As black can create fear it can also diminish it.  Black is power and extremely beautiful.

The color black in ritual or candle work is the most controversial color of all which is interesting do to the fact that many people are addicted to wearing the color.  However, it can absorb energies around you that can be potentially harmful.  For instance, a person who is operating from low energy, sadness, melancholy, or depression should not wear black because it will amplify the already bad feelings.  On the positive side, the color can make people appear smaller and streamlined.  It can hide unsightly things.  It is considered a sheik and mystifying color.  There is no fear in wearing black but when it comes to spiritual work many people are afraid of the color.  The color black in rituals or candle magick has been wrongfully stigmatized.  Yes, there is a negative side to the color black but there is a world of positive waiting to be discovered.  What is also interesting and a point that is often left out is that all colors have a positive and negative side.

Black is a color that has been defined to be synonymous with darkness, dirty, sad, depressing, somber, mournful, death, disastrous, calamity, sinful, inhuman, fiendish, devilish, infernal, monstrous; atrocious, horrible; nefarious, treacherous, traitorous, villainous. The opposite is considered white, clean, or happy.

In candle and ritual work, the color black is a misunderstood color.  “Black is void of all coloring, therefore it does not radiate or emit any vibrations of its own at all!”  It only releases that which has been placed upon it.  For example, a black candle is not evil unless you charge it with evil intentions.  This is why people fear it so.  However, if you charge a black candle with good intentions then that is what it will release, good intentions.  It is a receptive color, it pulls inward.  Another example, a person who is depressed and wears black will only get more depressed because the color itself will absorb similar negative energies to it and will attract more of the same from the environment around them.  We already know many negative uses of how people use black candles in witchcraft, to cause harm and destruction, instead I would like to look at the positive uses and characteristics of the color black in ritual work:

•           Use black for deep meditation

•           Use for protection

•           Use to banish evil or negativity

•           Use to trap negativity thought forms coming from others

•           It can represent the deepest levels of the unconscious.

•           Use to get rid of nasty habits

•           Black symbolizes the light coming out of dark

•           Use for serious cleansing of the mind and heart or spiritual issues

•           Use when you need a miracle

•           Use black to reveal hidden enemies, plots, or tricks

•           Use to reverse a situation from bad to good

•           Use if you feel blocked (ex. If you feel your money blocked burn black to remove the blockage and to open the way)

•          As an Earth element, you can burn a black candle the same way you burn a brown candle except the vibrations of black run much deeper.

•        Black can be used for protection, binding negative forces, and breaking up obstacles and blockages.  Black can also be used to reverse and break up negative thought forms.  Black absorbs, conceals, or can create confusion and chaos.  It is used for new beginnings or used to obtain knowledge of hidden things.  Black is the container of light, and is one of the most powerful of colors.  Black influences self-control, endurance, patience, grounding, and stability.

So here you have it.   I hope that I have given you a new appreciation for the color Black, its meaning, and its power.



I feel this to be a powerful question because, for many, the process of initiation is misunderstood and the meaning is not clear in many modern-day, new age spiritual systems, particularly, here in the Diaspora.

The brief explanation is that initiation is important for you, the initiate, to obtain self realization of your true soul self.  Initiation “is supposed” to open the door to you reaching your full spiritual potential.  It enhances your current being, peeling away the illusions and false beliefs systems of the world around you.  It is a process that is meant to illuminate and purify you.  Initiation gives one a way to reconnect to the Divine self and to the Divinities and spiritual forces without.

The word initiation comes from the word “initium” which means entrance or beginning.  This would mean that initiation is only the first step – the beginning – of a new spiritual or shamanistic journey.  In many cultures, initiation is actually considered a “second birth” and a process for one to be born again.   Now, many people are under the misconception that they are somehow complete by getting initiated.  But as I said earlier, initiation is only the beginning and the first step in a series of steps.  At this point, you are the baby – you know nothing, yet!

Many people have different motives for seeking initiation.  One of the main reasons is to obtain spiritual knowledge of hidden secrets from those who hold certain secrets in a particular spiritual system.  HOWEVER, initiations are not for everyone.  Those accepted into initiation are usually those who either have something in them calling toward initiation or they have in them the potential to realize their true selves including the fortitude to carry out the conditions for obtaining those secrets which are not EASY.  Those initiated can attest to that.  Many people give up after getting initiated not realizing the responsibility and the arduous (difficult) tasks related to initiation and the path of growth afterward.  So basically you have to have a certain quality within to even join certain initiatory systems.

The initiation process is one in which the initiate receives energy and the transmission of spiritual energy from higher beings.  The energy coming from these spirit beings activates and opens the individual up helping them to enhance their already inherent gifts.  The spirit energy you receive is “supposed to” support, protect, and help you to grow.  This powerful energy from the spirit realm is “supposed to” give an individual illumination that will allow him or her to order their steps in life and develop their inner gifts and potentials.

Self development on a deep level, one of the most important aspects of initiation, is missing in many of today’s spiritual systems especially in the beginning stages.  Because inner work is either missing or not adhered to, many people are becoming lost and confused within the system of choice.  Inner work is an absolute must and is supposed to help the initiate grow step by step with the final goal being that you have fully realized your true soul self and can manifest your gifts at will.  Mastery over the mind, thoughts, and emotions are essential if one is to garner power from the spirit world.  Initiation is “supposed to” link the higher mind to the soul and then the soul to spirit forces.  As a result, one is able to deal with everyday life in a purposeful and disciplined way.

“Spiritual initiation takes willingness – willingness to be different, to see further, to increase your experience of yourself and your reality.  Initiation is an act of faith because we never really know where we will land as a result. We just know that we will be different.”

So summing it up, it’s not enough to get initiated.  Steady development and growth must be happening every day, month, and year.  Within your spiritual system of choice there must be clear processes for development that will help you on your journey.  So to answer the question, initiation is important for those called toward this process as it will help them to develop, learn and actualize their potentials and true soul selves.


Generally speaking, a person will seek initiation when they have a strong desire to know their true self.  There is a feeling of wanting to be liberated from the everyday limitations and constructs of life.  There is often a feeling of incompleteness or a void as if something is missing.  Most people will start out on the journey inquiring and researching, reading books, and following specific teachers.

In most cases, a person is called by the spirit realm to be initiated or to become a shaman, guru, witch doctor, spirit medium, seer, healer, etc.  This person will usually have a bloodline (other people) in the family that have been initiated in a particular system.  This could be anywhere in the world.  The spirit realm will call this person to continue in the family footsteps.  It may be the soul’s calling/mission to follow a particular spiritual system and require you to become initiated.

For those who are aware of their spiritual mission, it may be better to accept the role voluntarily rather than having the initiation imposed and forced upon you.  If one chooses to ignore the call or try to avoid their mission– the spirits will cause havoc in their lives or even make them ill until they do what they are supposed to do spiritually.  Being initiated or becoming a shaman in many cultures is such a huge responsibility that the person called to the task will wait as long as humanly possible – trying to live and enjoy life before they have to give up so much.  Then there are other people who just know that this is something that they want to do.  These are usually individuals who have the fortitude, discipline, and inner strength to endure the arduous responsibilities of being an initiate and serving the people.  In these cases, a person will need to make sure that they are seeking initiation (no matter the system) for all the right reasons.

Remember, initiation is supposed to align the initiate with powerful spirits or forces and give this individual access to secrets that are not openly or commonly known to the average person.  The spirits or deities will recognize the new initiate as one of their own giving the individual access to many spiritual secrets including the ways of unlocking mysteries typically forbidden for those who are uninitiated.

If the initiation is done properly, the new initiate will have the ability to tap into the unseen and mysterious world of the spirits with authority and respect.  If the initiation is not done properly or the new initiate is not taught the proper ways of dealing with the realm of spirit, many potential problems can occur – disturbing the life of the initiate.

Another way you can know if initiation is for you is through divination.  However, this is tricky because in today’s time it is a bit difficult to discern if the elder doing the divination is telling you the truth or if they are pushing initiation just for the money, power, control, or using you as a trophy.  These individuals will cater to your ego.  They will say things like, “oh, you are going to big or you will have a thousand godchildren or you will be famous,” etc.  I’m not saying that those things can’t happen, but before it does, you will go through many life changes and challenging circumstances that may not be comfortable.  These people are dramatic and they love to romanticize the process of initiation.  Many people fall for it only to later realize it’s not quite how it was explained to them.  People will also hear things like “oh, if you get initiated things will get better – your life will change” or something like that.  Yes, your life should absolutely get better, however, for many people it is not immediate although in cases where people are ill/sick I have seen a vast improvement.  I’m not trying to scare anyone but many people have gotten initiated with high expectations only to find out that the picture was not exactly as told or things didn’t immediately get better as expected.  And in some cases, if the initiation was done wrong or incomplete – things got worse.  Fear tactics are also used to push people into initiation or multiple initiations in a short amount of time.  There are good and trustworthy elders out there, but there are twice as many bad ones, so be careful.

So how do you know if spiritual initiation is for you?  This is tricky.  For some people, it will be crystal clear because the spirit world will send you all the signs and validate it for you.  For other people, it may not be so easy to figure out.  However, if you decide it’s something you would like to go through then you should definitely take your time (do not rush into it) and get to know the people who plan to initiate you.  You have to look at the total picture and look into the lives of those wanting to initiate you.  If things don’t look so good then that may not be the place for you.

Also, get it in your mind that after initiation, it will take many years for the energies of initiation to settle into you and for you to learn the secret knowledge of power, healing, protection, and commanding of the spirit realm.  After initiation and while your spiritual journey unfolds it will require a lot of time and personal dedication on your part and may require a lot of money for your spiritual education.  In many cases, in order to learn from the elders or your godparents you will spend a lot of time away from home.  As far as the money, it is an investment into your spiritual future just like any other education like college or trade school.

My advise is to not fall for the romanticism of initiation and don’t get star struck by it.  Don’t let your ego be stroked into initiation and don’t look toward initiation in a power hungry or drama-filled kind of way.  There is nothing romantic about initiation or serving as a shaman.  For cultures that take initiation very serious – it is a very difficult undertaking and in many cases will cause for much personal sacrifice.  In some cases, the weight of the community will rest on your shoulders and the majority of you will be responsible for the wellness of other people’s lives.  As a real calling – your life is no longer your own.  It can be dirty, sweaty, gritty or physically challenging.  You can have many sleepless days and nights.  Your elders will be extremely strict and they won’t except excuses.  It is a lot of responsibility.  Again, I’m not trying to scare anyone – just telling it like it is.  Initiation can be very beautiful and rewarding but not easy.  Sometimes people get initiated and everything gets stripped from them and they begin to struggle through life – the tests begin.  Individuals don’t realize that they will be tested a lot.  How else would you grow your power?  How else do you emerge victorious?  The spirits will test your courage and your fortitude.  Just put it this way – initiation is more than you may think so serious thought and careful consideration must go into your decision.  I wish you peace on your journey.